The Bitch Is Back

splodge some max factor colour adapt in creamy ivory around. fill in lips with sephora number 94. draw eyes with bourjois khol et contour bleu evasion.

plonk on top of a generously proportioned body with skinny ankles and fat feet.

into the brain, add:

• a healthy dose of cynicism
• a sense of humour (debatable)
• the ability to wear red lipstick
• a completely unhealthy hatred of skinny/pretty/clever girls
• a memory capable of retaining entire sonnets and large chunks of romeo and juliet but never able to locate her keys

there's nowt much else to her
but she's happy like that.