The Bitch Is Back

"I think I learnt a lot about the culture and did many fundamentally French activities"

I got drunk and teargassed during a football riot.

"I learnt so much new vocabulary"

Fuck the police; I'm really hungover; that bouncer's a twat; I want to fool around with that guy

"I got on so well with my employer - she was like a parent to me"

I called her a stupid whore in English when she couldn't understand that I was going to pass out if she didn't turn the fucking air conditioning on. She didn't even understand that.

"I met some fantastic people, the whole group got on so well"

The whole week was an exercise in paranoia - I really like one of the guys - did Lizzie sleep in Raph's bed?

"I would definitely do the whole week again"

I would have to not be working and only take certain people from the trip and lose about four stone before I let another picture be taken.

"Grenoble was beautiful"

Once I'd looked past the kerb crawlers, drunkards, stoners, tramps and arrogant beggars.

"I'm so gutted I'm home"

I hate my family and friends.

"I think I've grown as a person"

Only outwards.